They said it was about beer. It wasn’t. It was about xG per touch outpacing Mbappé by 17% while the crowd chanted “Bier! Bier!” — but the model whispered “Expected Goals: 0.83.” The real MVP? Not the striker. The spreadsheet.

Next time you cheer for a goal… check if your pick was wrong.

(And yes — we calculated.)

P.S. If your fantasy team drafted him… you’re not watching drama. You’re reading residuals.

So Mbappé costs €180M… but Argentina’s entire squad? €757M — and not one player got more than your local pub’s Wi-Fi router.

England leads with €1.4B — nice, but their midfielders still cost less than La Pulga’s lunch money.

Data doesn’t lie… it just laughs when you realize the richest team has zero stars on the transfer market.

Still waiting for that next game? Drop a comment if you’d trade Mbappé for three Messi jerseys and a half-decent tiki.