So Madueke walked into GQ wearing a fur vest like it was his final shot chart… and somehow the analytics worked better than his wardrobe. Turns out: you don’t need to be fashionable to be right—you just need to run the numbers. The real question isn’t ‘What’s he wearing?’ It’s ‘Why is his R² higher than your Instagram likes?’ If your closet can fund small nations… maybe stop chasing viral virality and start betting on expected value. What’s your model? A quiet revolution in zip code.

West Ham just turned down £50m for Kudus? My regression model says that’s like offering $20 for a Tesla… while he’s running at 2.3 chances per 90 mins. Even his heatmaps are crying in the right half-space. This isn’t transfer fraud—it’s financial poetry written in Excel. If Kudus was a GIF, he’d be the one still buffering after 47 failed bids. Anyone else would’ve paid more… but not you think? 😏 #DataNeverLies